Laying in bed texting Allison , having a huge heart to heart . Letting out frustration and just telling her my feelings . Realizing that moving day is coming very soon and well im not ready . I say im ready to go & that im excited . I am all of that , but half of me doesn’t wanna let go , wanna leave or any of that . I feel my heart breaking into a million pieces and it hurts . It sucks . I get to see my family which is an upside . I get a fresh start at life and a clean slate . But at the same time , this house has brought so many memories that im not ready to let go of . The fact at my new house I’ll be living in is where my grandma passed away in 5 months and 6 days ago in … I don’t think I can handle this yet . I don’t know . 2 weeks to live it up . I think I can do it …

Boy , NO ONE pulls on my heart strings like this boy . Walking up to the first baseball game I watched him at gave my butterflies like there is NO tomorrow ams I was weak in my knees . I never thought id fall so hard for a guy like I have before . But , boy did I last night <3 he kept looking at me when he was in the dug out & telling his team mates to look at me (: biggest smile on both of our faces . Then , waiting for him at the dug out after the game and him in pure shock that I came & smile from ear to ear on his face , cutest thing I’ve ever seen ! Walking to the car talking & joking around . Then , when we put our arms around eachother , I MELTED IN THE PALM OF HIS HANDS (: we kissed , best kiss of my life !

He told my bestfriend , which is his ex. That he wanted me <3 He’s a keeper !

Cody Busby , 17<3

I fear that one day your not going to be there . You always promised you would, but you have broken a lot of promises to me . I fear one day that you’ll stop loving me and I’ll lose complete control of myself . That I’ll be completely lost in this big ole’ word with no where to turn and no oane to go to.  That one day everything I worked for is just broken into pieces a d I’m left with absolutely nothing in my life . That my best of friends will just forget me when I leave , yes I highly doubt that’ll happen but there’s always that slim chance that it can happen . Even the day that I’m going to say I do , he just walks out on me . No I don’t fear death , I live for taking chances . But I have have one the back on my kind that voice that says don’t do it , but its life . I want to make the most if it . I don’t fear people talking about me because its just talk . They’d know the truth if they simply took the time to ask . But I do fear that I’ll never be able to live again like I have in the past …. <|3

(Source: mustbesomeone)